Why being an active ally goes beyond Pride Month

Growing up as the son of an army officer in India, my childhood was filled with a lot of travel, unique experiences, discipline and structure—yet also an unspoken expectation to conform.

Beneath the surface, however, I always knew I was different.

Coming to terms with my identity as a bisexual man was a journey of self-discovery, courage, and ultimately, acceptance. Today, as an openly LGBTQIA+ individual, I reflect on my professional and personal experiences and the significance of the recently passed Pride Month (June).

To me, Pride Month is more than just a celebration; it’s a powerful reminder of our ongoing fight for equality and acceptance. In a country like India, where traditional values often overshadow progressive thought, the recognition of Pride Month is a beacon of hope. It symbolises our collective strength, resilience, and the progress we’ve made in asserting our rights.

It's also a time to honour those who have paved the way for us to celebrate our identities openly, educated others about our journeys, and realised that there’s still work to be done to make society more inclusive. It’s the month when visibility becomes crucial, stories are shared, and community support is nurtured.

One thing I wish more people knew about the LGBTQIA+ community is our diversity and complexity. We are not a monolithic group; our experiences, struggles, and triumphs are as varied as our identities. Understanding this helps us appreciate the unique challenges faced by different members of our community, whether related to gender identity, race, socioeconomic status, or other factors. It’s about recognising our humanity and the rich tapestry of our lives.

As a kid, I regularly watched this eccentric talk show host entertain and make her audience laugh. Despite the potential risks to her career, her courage to come out publicly on the cover of Times magazine paved the way for many and inspired countless others to live and be their authentic self. Ellen DeGeneres' advocacy and commitment to creating a more inclusive world continues to inspire me. Her journey often resonated with me and reminded me that visibility and authenticity are powerful tools for change.

After losing my father at a relatively young age, I felt an immense responsibility to protect my mother from further hardship, which led me to stay in the closet. In hindsight, I realise that I used this as a convenient excuse to avoid confronting my sexuality.

During the 2010s, India was significantly more conservative, and my reluctance to accept my sexuality was deeply intertwined with a fear of ostracism from both my peers and colleagues. Society's rigid expectations of masculinity dictated that a man should be strong, stoic, and conform to heteronormative standards.

These societal norms were internalised, compelling me to present myself in a way that aligned with public perceptions of what a man should be, thus suppressing my true identity. This environment made it particularly challenging to embrace and express my authentic self without fear of judgment and exclusion.

The very first person I wanted to and eventually came out to was my mother. Her unconditional love, consideration, and support reaffirmed my sense of belonging and self-worth. It was a profound moment that highlighted the importance of a supportive network and strengthened my resolve to create similar environments for others. 

My biggest takeaway from the way my mother positively reacted to my coming out was that if someone comes out to you, whether at work or in your personal life, the most important thing you can do is listen and offer your support. Acknowledge their courage, respect their privacy, and let them set the pace for further conversations. Your response can significantly impact their confidence and well-being. Creating a safe and accepting space where they feel comfortable being themselves is crucial.

Being an active ally involves more than just showing support during Pride Month. It means educating yourself about LGBTQIA+ issues, speaking out against discrimination, and standing up for rights in everyday situations. Allies can make a significant difference by advocating for inclusive policies, supporting LGBTQIA+ businesses and organisations, and fostering a culture of acceptance and respect.

Having worked across many big organisations like Google, Citibank, and Dentsu, I have come to realise that an inclusive workplace is one where diversity is celebrated and everyone feels valued. It’s where policies support all employees, discrimination is actively combated, and open dialogue about diversity and inclusion is encouraged. Inclusivity means providing equal opportunities for advancement, comprehensive benefits, and fostering an environment where everyone feels safe to express their true selves.

If I could pick themes for Pride, they would be 'visibility', 'empowerment' and 'unity'. Visibility is crucial for breaking down stereotypes and fostering understanding. Empowerment is about giving individuals the confidence and tools to live authentically. Unity emphasises the strength we have as a community when we stand together and support each other.

As I look to the future, my celebration plans are rooted in advocacy and visibility. I aim to use my voice and platform to raise awareness about LGBTQIA+ issues, support initiatives that foster inclusivity, and mentor young individuals navigating their journeys. Celebrating the future means creating a world where the next generation can live authentically and without fear.

Being an openly bisexual man and part of the LGBTQIA+ community in India has been a journey of navigating societal expectations, overcoming personal fears, and finding strength in authenticity. Pride Month reminds us of our progress and the work needed to ensure a more inclusive world. By fostering understanding, advocating for inclusivity, and supporting one another, we can create a future where everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, can live openly and proudly.

At the end, I leave you with this simple message:

Pride's colours shine, a vibrant spree,
Inclusivity for all to see.
In love's embrace, we're free to be,
Celebrating unity, you and me.

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Aditya Narain is the assistant vice president for digital north and east at Carat India. He uses he/him as pronouns.